By: Helping Hands TV
This weekend, in families and communities all around Australia, dads, grandfathers and father figures will be recognised and celebrated for the important roles they play in our lives.
And those roles, says psychologist, Collett Smart are on an exciting and encouraging new trajectory.
In this Helping Hands panel discussion, Collett is joined by Mike Gore, CEO of Charitabl.; and Graeme Cowan, Resilience Author and Speaker, to speak about today’s dad; how we can see the best in our dads and encourage them to be the best versions of themselves.
“There’s really been a shift, I think, say from forty years ago,” Collett says. “(Now) we’re seeing dads pushing strollers, we’re seeing dads changing nappies. We’re seeing dads engaged emotionally with their teenagers. They’re not just – ‘I’m the provider, I’m the disciplinarian’. I really do see dads wanting to lean into more of the emotional side with their children and their families.”
In his work, Graeme encourages men to develop strategies which maintain their health and wellbeing while coping with a complex mix of daily responsibilities. He says that for dads today, one of the biggest issues they face is loneliness, despite spending much of their time in busy families and hectic workplaces.
“One really, really big issue that men still really haven’t transcended (is) being able to have authentic conversations; being able to talk about when they’re vulnerable, when they’re not coping, and being able to ask for help. That’s sadly reflected in statistics like – 75% of suicides are men.”
Graeme suggests men tackle loneliness and other challenges they face head on by working hard to establish authentic communication through meaningful connection.
“With things like building relationships, it’s important for men to establish a ritual where that happens almost automatically. One of the things I do is to meet with two mates every (Sunday) morning at Curl Curl. It’s a lot of jovial and laughs and reflections, but at various times, we’ve had to talk about relationships, or finances, career.”
Mike adds that the idea of ‘dad rituals’ can have an important place within home life too, bolstering a dad’s sense of belonging and the relationship they have with their children.
As an adopted child with brown skin in a predominantly white neighbourhood and community, there was much about Mike’s childhood that made him feel a little out of place. However, he remembers Father’s Day as one of the rare things during his childhood that was wonderfully unremarkable – an experience he blissfully shared with both his peers at school and his family at home.
Now, as a father himself, the same Father’s Day rituals that helped him as a child, are what makes his own experiences of Father’s Day so special with his own children – dodgy school stall gifts and all.
“In many ways, it is the most remarkable of days, because of those gifts … Whatever it is, I don’t actually care about the gift. What I care about is the love and the joy of that experience, because it actually transcends things like loneliness, and it gives you a sense of belonging.”
If you are a dad, or are celebrating a special dad or father-figure in your life this Father’s Day, how can you heed the excellent advice of the Helping Hands panellists to grasp this opportunity for meaningful connection with those special men closest and dearest to you?
See the FATHER’S DAY discussion and the full catalogue of Helping Hands panels at helpinghands.tv. Catch up on full episodes of Helping Hands on 9NOW.
Article supplied with thanks to Helping Hands TV.
Feature image: Photo by Derek Thomson on Unsplash
About the Author: Helping Hands is an Australian produced TV program that airs on 9GEM, Channel 9 and 9NOW, and showcases people and organisations who make the world a better place.