Conflicting Parenting Styles? Essential Parenting Pillars Can Help

By: Laura Bennett

If you’re a family with young children, one of the challenges of family life is negotiating the different parenting styles of you and your partner, and resolving differing opinions when they arise.

Key points

  • Neuropsychotherapist Joanne Wilsons says child-centred parenting is very common but is blurring boundaries.
  • “When parents can provide a warm and loving but firm background… it sets them up for absolute success in life,” Joanne said.
  • When disagreements spring up within the household, listening is the key skill we all need to learn.

During National Families Week, neuropsychotherapist Joanne Wilson  encouraged couples to evaluate their parenting style, and how well it’s working for them.

In her counselling room these days Joanne sees “a real theme that there is a child-centered parenting approach”.

“As opposed to what was used by our forefathers, [now] it’s focused very much on what the child wants and what they need,” Joanne said. “Generally, it can get a little too blurry when it comes to boundaries for the children and discipline.”

Even if couples grew up in the same area of Sydney, they can have varying approaches to parenting based on their culture.

“A warm and loving but firm background… sets them up for absolute success in life.”

While heritage is an essential contributor to how we raise our kids, Joanne believes there are some overarching parenting pillars to lean on.

“In a general sense, when parents can provide a warm and loving but firm background – where children understand consequences based on their actions – it sets them up for absolute success in life,” Joanne said.

“It’s a really healthy thing [because] that will help them get to their job on time [and not] think, ‘mum and dad will pick up the pieces’.”

When disagreements spring up within the household, listening is the key skill we all need to learn.

“It’s such a joy when I can work with people [and] coach them on being responsive, and being able to self-regulate,” Joanne said. “When you differ with someone, not getting all fired up and angry [but] stepping into that dialogue and asking questions to find out what [they] mean.

“Because often we start arguing with someone based on assumption, and no one is getting heard.”


Article supplied with thanks to Hope Media.

Feature image: Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

About the Author: Laura Bennett is a media professional, broadcaster and writer from Sydney, Australia.