By: Sabrina Peters
So you’re into this guy and you you think he’ll make the perfect boyfie, but you’re not sure if you should start dating. Here are 10 questions that will help you figure out if he’s just a crush or has real potential.
1. Can you be yourself around him?
When you’re together do you feel relaxed and comfortable just being you? Or are you running to the bathroom checking your make up every 5 seconds. If he’s the right guy you’ll feel confident in your tracks and a t-shirt and won’t feel the need to always be on point. You don’t have to say or do things just to impress him and you don’t pretend to like things you actually hate. When you’re in the same room as your wannabe BAE you feel totally chilled and at ease (with a few butterflies of course)!
2. Is he honest?
If your guy is constantly telling white lies, don’t even go there girl. It may start off small like. “Nah I’m just at home watching TV”. Next minute see a photo of him pop up on Facebook at his mate’s party. Trust is a must in a good relationship! You want your boyfriend (and future husband) to be honest and faithful. If he’s constantly vague or shady about where or who he’s with maybe he has something to hide?
3. Does he respect you?
Does he respect your family? Your values? Your dreams? Your friends? You as a person! If a guy talks bad about your family or your friends, he’s totally not boyfriend material. If you want it to be more than a summer fling you need someone that will love their in-laws, love your friends and most of all respect you! He may be cute in those chinos but if he’s got attitude for days just say no baby.
4. Is he kind?…..(oh and funny)!
Kindness is so underrated but goes a long way in a relationship! It don’t matter how sexy a guy is, if he treats you like dirt and calls you names then that six pack is so redundant. Seriously nice guys are awesome! They cop a bad rap and supposedly finish last but a nice, generous, caring, fun guy is the kind of person you want to be into.
5. Is he confident?
If a guy is insecure he’ll do anything to make himself feel bigger. He’ll use people, substances, money, fame, even your affection to fill the void in his heart. A good boyfriend is confident! He likes himself…..not loves himself. There is a huge difference between being confident and cocky. Avoid the arrogant guy who likes to look at himself in the mirror more than you do. Find a guy that makes other people feel better when they are around him.
6. Do your friends like him?
If your friends aren’t into him, maybe you shouldn’t be either? Often times your friends can see little things about him that your blinded to (love and infatuation has a way of doing that ha)! If your bestie is begging you to not date him then listen. (Of course this is a pretty big generalisation) However far too often I have seen girls ignore their friends’ advice and end up in toxic relationship with a guy who treats them badly and breaks their hearts a few months later. When you’re a teen I’d totally recommend mates before dates!
7. Do you like his friends?
Are his friends good influences? Are they the kind of people you want to spend time with? You may think who cares they’re just his friend, but trust me you become like those you hang around. As a Youth Pastor I constantly found myself saying “Show me who your friends are and I’ll be able to see where your life is headed”. So go for a boy who hangs around people who are solid.
8. Do your parents like him?
You may think your mum or dad are total dags, but that doesn’t change the fact they’ve lived a lot longer than you! And probably made a few of the mistakes they are trying to help you avoid. So listen to them! When they say a guy isn’t good for you, take on their advice. They can see things you can’t! And guess what they are you parents! Your spiritual authority. Listen, your mum is right 99% of the time.
9. Does he love Jesus?
If you yourself are a follower of Jesus, this Number 1 (By far)! He can be cute as pie and hotter than Justin Bieber but if he doesn’t love (or even know) Jesus, stop. (Just stop). This doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. Seriously I know lots of people who aren’t “Christians” but they are amazing, fantastic, ridiculously fun people! But when it comes to choosing a boyfriend (who down the track you may want to turn into a life partner) then it is SO important that he’s more than a good person.
He has to LOVE Jesus, because if he doesn’t it means your lives aren’t heading in the same direction. You can’t follow Jesus with all your heart and hook up with someone going in the opposite direction. Time and time again I have seen young girls choose boys who don’t have Jesus in their lives and more often than not a few years later they find themselves out in a place they never wanted to be. Don’t learn this the hard way.
10. What does God say?
Now I’m not trying to get all freaky Christian on you, but the fact is God speaks to His daughters, (and His sons). It may not be in a big booming voice but in His word, through His people, through books, songs, sometimes even that gut feeling. So listen. It’s easy to be led by your emotions and feelings when it comes to the opposite sex. Love is a deep desire of the human soul and it begins to awaken in your teen years. But honestly if you want lasting love then include God in the conversation.
There ya go, 10 questions that will help you determine if he’s boyfriend material! Much love sweet girl.
P.S There’s no right or wrong age to date, but in my opinion dating when you’re still in high school is like totally cray cray and usually doesn’t lead to anything long-term (Again there are always exceptions to the rule). Unfortunately I learnt that lesson the hard way. Much love x
Article supplied with thanks to Sabrina Peters.
About the Author: Sabrina is a writer, pastor and relationships blogger. She is passionate about Jesus and changing the way people think about God & sex.